Miso Noodlebar, Croydon

I have been to Barcelona three times.  Only on my third visit did I start to get the hang of the place. It’s a frustrating city. You go to a restaurant that seems to be well liked by locals and they shove a wipe clean English menu in your hand and try to charge you seven euros for a fanta limon. Croydon isn’t much like Barcelona but a meal in Miso Noodlebar left me just as frustrated.

The food was average and served in huge portions – not necessarily a good thing if you don’t want to eat much of it. A special of Prawn Kare Lomen tasted not spicy, nor of lemongrass, nor of chilli, nor of ginger as described on the menu. The broth was a muddy katsu infused miso soup, salty and bland. The beef was half gelatinous, half chewy. The meal was bulked up with some deep-fried tofu which absorbed the murky liquid, became soggy, and tasted like an ill-treated sponge.

The teriyaki beef arrived so fast that there was no way, even in hell’s rapid cooking inferno, that it was made fresh. It was just teriyaki beef with a mound of rice – again the portion was huge. Prawn crackers were disturbingly uniform and tasted a little synthetic, the bowl was again generous – easily enough to share between four or more.

I may be being harsh, maybe this is an in and out noodle bar where service should be quick and food should be simple. I don’t think I am. As we were eating a large party came in and filled the back of the restaurant, they were served large plates of pak choi, char sui pork, other gloriously authentic looking plates of food. It looked and smelled fantastic.  The kitchen can obviously cook but they can’t be bothered with the walk in tourists (or locals for that matter) who order off the wipe clean menus. I look in on my way past most days and I know the staff here eat very well, food much better than they would ever serve the customers.  I felt like that disappointed Barcelona tourist on my own high street.

A table next to us ordered two plates of special fried rice. It was served on plates  heaped to the point of avalanche. Maybe this is the problem, Miso’s meals are average but grossly proportioned, perfect food for the average and grossly proportioned Croydon customer.

I have no doubt you can get a good meal amongst the mediocrity here but for me it is not worth playing Miso menu roulette.

The nitty-gritty:

I visited the one under the Croydon Flyover, next to Il Ponte with its ready served bowls of dust and olives.

Two meals, two teas and a bowl of prawn crackers was £18.

Silk Road

Silk Road is Xinjiang style restaurant, Xinjiang is in China.  Silk Road is a Chinese restaurant. 

These statements are logical. I tend to like logic.

My girlfriend has been to China many times, her father lives there, and she often craves a Chinese meal. Unfortunately all of my previous experiences of Chinese restaurants have been terrible – although there was one in San Francisco that I remember being better than terrible, our hosts had Chinese roots, I think they knew what they were doing. 

The girlfriend was in town and wanting Chinese, I was paying. I did a little research. Lots of bloggers that tend to talk sense, take glorious photographs and like other restaurants I like  had been to Silk Road and raved about it.  Silk Road is in Camberwell. Camberwell is not too far from Croydon. Using my powers of logic I concluded that I may too find Silk Road agreeable and promptly booked a table.

I am glad I booked a table. Arriving at 8pm we were seated in a full restaurant and before we could make an order four groups had been turned away. The girlfriend ordered some dumplings, pakchoi, some sliced cold beef I insisted on the medium plate chicken to share. I then ordered a couple of skewers of offal, because they were there, cheap and I am like that.

Everything was excellent. The girlfriend hoovered most of the dumplings with slices of soy sweet beef. Skewered lambs kidneys dropped pink blood on the plate and oozed rich spice on the tongue.  The medium plate chicken was presented big enough for four. At this point the girlfriend, full of dumpling and overpowered by chili slowed down,  ordered an aloe juice, and watched me go.

Developing meat and heat sweats I gnawed away at evry bone in the bowl, slurped up the noodles, then took a spoon to the broth.  It was a hefty meal. At nine quid it was much cheaper and much more satisfying than a KFC bargain bucket. I have eaten both solo and I can confirm that Silk Road’s medium plate chicken wins by the length of the wall of China.

The place is busy,  and rightly so. I would recommend booking and taking a large group of friends so you can try everything on the menu and still have space for some chicken.

Photos:

The nitty-gritty:

Distance from Croydon: 45minutes on the 468 bus. 30minutes by train via Victoria. Not far if you are a crow.

Lots of food, 2 beers, 1 soft drink, 1 aloe juice: £32

Silk Road, Camberwell.

49 Camberwell Church Street
London, SE5 8TR (020) 7703 4832 – Cash Only.

Uncle Lim’s

Uncle Lim's Hainan Chicken Rice - Big chicken hug on big white plate.

I have previously mentioned the sprawling vomit of fried chicken providers that infects the streets of our once fine town.  It is amazing, considering the number, how piss poor, pants, and disgusting all of them are.

There is a place to buy nice chicken in Croydon. It’s called Uncle Lim’s. You will find Uncle Lim’s upstairs in the Whitgift Centre. The bit near JJB Sports  that is opposite the inside part of WH Smiths. Admittedly not the most picturesque location for a restaurant.