delicious ice cream - so the pot says
Afters has been in production for quite some time. This used to be Cypriani’s Greek Restaurant before Cypriani’s upped sticks and shacked up with Aqua up the road. They formed some kind of bizarre modern european/souvlaki fusion menu and ramped up the prices to put me off what as otherwise a perfectly reliable local restaurant.
I was really excited. I love ice cream parlours. George and Davis is one of my favourite place to go before during or after a night out in Oxford, I have been known on occasion to even be their first customer, popping in after an extended post-club walk home. G&D’s make their own ice creams on site, serve them with great brownies, they even toast a good bagel. Fresian cow prints, quizzes, suggestion box -very cool.
Afters on the other hand has bright pink banquet seating, big mirrors and big televisions. The televisions run videos of the pictures on the menu. At the back of the room there is a glass cabinet containing garishly coloured ice creams and an assortment of cakes. Even though everything is on display we are encouraged to sit down. We get table service, posh.
Afters Dessert Parlour - Chocolate Fudge Cake
Afters is from the Iceland school of local organic sourcing and the Waitrose school of pricing. Afters sells frozen things for as much profit as possible. The menu is half 90′s bowling alley/half 1980′s french campsite – thoroughly depressing.
Afters Dessert Parlour - Waffle with chocolate sauce
I ordered a waffle with chocolate sauce in the hope that it wouldn’t arrive with a blue raspberry sauce or a fucking sparkler in the top. The former blonde had a chocolate fudge cake with a free sauce if you paid an extra 50p. Both were edible in the same way that frankfurters, spam and polystyrene are edible. It will all go down if you hold your nose and chew hard enough.
As this is an ice cream parlour I felt it unfair to review without trying something that was still frozen. Mango Sorbet was perfectly OK, with good texture and a nice Mango flavour.
The place was quite busy – families and over excited teenagers mainly – the music was loud, and everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. If there is a market for this sort of thing in 2011, if this is what the people of Croydon want, if this is going to survive longer than 6 months, if this IS THE STATE OF FOOD IN CROYDON then I am glad to buggery and back that I am moving elsewhere.
The only tasty thing in Afters was our waitress, even the former blonde agrees.
The nitty-gritty:
We had a waffle a piece of ‘cake’ and a ball of sorbet. £7.95. Other desserts range from £8 for a banana split to £30 for a 28 scoops of glacial sugar vomit. Service isn’t included, which is a shame, as it was one of the only things worth paying for.
Oh, and they don’t take card, which is about as dodgy as their cakes.
Heh, I used to live in Croydon, South Croydon for a few months with a boyfriend (at his parent’s house…) and I remember that Greek restaurant!
Sounds rubbish, but “glacial sugar vomit” made me laugh at least
I never managed to get to the Greek place – I think I read somewhere that it had relocated. Although the menu has migrated to Aqua down the road too. The Ice cream parlour that has replaced it is truly rubbish.l amazingly it is still very busy every time I go past. Obviously there is a market for this!
Such a shame Cypriani’s moved on (think they went somewhere towards Kent)? Mezze was a delight and the service was great. Loved that restaurant.
I’ve heard good things from ‘Afters’ but only from couples with kids who say it keeps them entertained although is far too expensive. Not a glowing reference?!
Glad I read this! Was recommended, but come to think of it, I think they’re quite a bit younger than us and the ‘type’ of people to be excited about and enjoy ‘that’ kind of thing!
Wendy