Holiday in Arrieta – Reviewed

THE GOOD

El Amanacer

We ate at El Amanecer twice in our week in Arrieta and it is easy to see why this simple restaurant is wildly popular. The service is friendly, the food is hearty, prices are modest, and atmosphere is convivial.

Service is efficient, to the point of intimidating, which is understandable when the staff need to turn tables in the busy summer months. On a quiet Sunday in December the efficiency was a little over the top. That said, my OTT ordering was quickly put in check by the waiter who rightly insisted we downsize and order less than half of what I asked for. The kind of service that instantly warms me to a restaurant.

Bread, mojos, gambas al ajillo, gambas a la plancha were all excellent. A fish of the day, presented whole and grilled, was cooked accurately but severely let down by an abundance of scales.

Scales are good in a music lesson, as Left back for Liverpool in the 90s, but never in a fish dish.

The jug of house wine at 7 Euro a litre was cold and sinkable in the way that wine on holiday always is. The coffee was strong and cheap.

Scaling aside El Amanacer is a great experience, and well worth a visit if you are in the area, or happen to be stuck in one of the dreary Lanzarote resorts and want some kind of “authentic” escape.

THE BAD

Los Pescaditos

We visited Los Pescaditos on a whim after a few beers that had built up a resistance to cooking that centred on the dread of washing up.

I left Los Pescaditos with a bad taste in my mouth, somewhere between mud and regret, that would return on me periodically throughout the holiday.

I should have trusted my instincts when, asking for a table on the terrace, we were refused as it was too busy. Despite their being plenty of tables laying empty. We ordered prawns and sardines and were eventually thankful that they arrived with some potatoes – edible at least.

Grilled sardines aren’t hard to execute, but it does require the presence sardines that were caught this century. I’m not sure where Los Pescaditos gets its fish, but i’d be surprised if it was the sea. I doubt the mouse Jerry would have had the malice to impart these sad fishies on the bad cat Tom.

To describe the prawns as wooly would be an insult to a sheep who is, at the end of the day, just trying to stay warm. Wrapping a few cotton buds in duct tape would have produced a meal of superior taste that would have been just as easy to peel.

A salad garnish was, at best, innovative, I doubt the thick cut raw onion salad will catch on in London any time soon.

Don’t go there. Do the washing up instead. Even if you don’t have a sink, or a water supply, or a cloth and the food is stuck to everything in the most horrendous way. Just do the washing up instead.

ZiCO Coconut Water

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I ran to work this morning along the Thames. When I reached Hammersmith I was met by a couple of young ladies handing out ZiCO coconut water. They told me it was healthy and is good for rehydrating after exercise. This is true. It is.

Unfortunately it tastes awful. It is the only drink in the world that starts with fresh armpit and finishes with champagne hangover. The drink is made from concentrate and it shows. ZiCO has all the qualities of a bounty-bar’s urine sample.

I am a big fan of Wonderfarm Coconut water,which is not made from concentrate and has spunky chunks of coconut pulp to get your teeth into. It is refreshing, healthy and good for rehydration AND it tastes nice.
VitaCoco is another Coconut water option that comes in lots of flavours like mango and pomegranate. A bottle costs more than a small house in Runcorn. Like shampoo and anything else flavoured with pomegranate – It’s for girls.

In conclusion: Good try ZiCO, and thanks for the free sample. Make your water taste better and I might consider buying it.

Baguette Dong, Brick Lane (Sunday)

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No, it isn’t a statue of Linford Christie. Baguette Dong is a food stall. Just in the inside bit a little bit up Brick Lane. Opposite the hair cuts. Thats a terrible description, good luck finding it.

This food stall is rather like every other food stall on or beside or behind Brick Lane on a Sunday, in that it serves a decent meal for about a fiver. In this case £4.50, or £4 if you aren’t feeling the special.

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Baguette Dong serves Banh Mi, a Vietnamese sandwich full of pork and wonder. The special is spread with mayonnaise, then chilies, and a pork pate. Thin slices of a cold pork sausage of considerable girth are neatly arranged inside with strips of pork belly from the grill. Coriander, cucumber and carrot provide a pleasingly alliterative garnish.

Disappointingly the chilli failed to make an impression and my Banh Mi was lacking some bite, all a little one paced. That said, it was a fine snack. A sandwich worthy of most Olympians’ lunch boxes.

Meat free dinner party

It’s been a while. Below are a series of photos from a meat free dinner party that I threw together last week.

The photos get a little more blurry as the meal goes on, we will blame it on the setting sun rather than the vodka chasers between courses.

Tomato and mozzarella salad

Asparagus with egg yolk

Pea risotto

 

Miso soup with tempura seaweed and deep fried anchovies

Prawn and courgette stir fry

Afters Dessert Parlour, South Croydon

Afters Dessert Parlour

delicious ice cream - so the pot says

Afters has been in production for quite some time. This used to be Cypriani’s Greek Restaurant before Cypriani’s upped sticks and shacked up with Aqua up the road. They formed some kind of bizarre modern european/souvlaki fusion menu and ramped up the prices to put me off what as otherwise a perfectly reliable local restaurant.

I was really excited. I love ice cream parlours. George and Davis is one of my favourite place to go before during or after a night out in Oxford, I have been known on occasion to even be their first customer, popping in after an extended post-club walk home. G&D’s make their own ice creams on site, serve them with great brownies, they even toast a good bagel. Fresian cow prints, quizzes, suggestion box -very cool.

Afters on the other hand has bright pink banquet seating, big mirrors and big televisions. The televisions run videos of the pictures on the menu.  At the back of the room there is a glass cabinet containing garishly coloured ice creams and an assortment of cakes. Even though everything is on display we are encouraged to sit down. We get table service, posh.

Afters Dessert Parlour - Chocolate Fudge Cake

Afters is from the Iceland school of local organic sourcing and the Waitrose school of pricing. Afters sells frozen things for as much profit as possible. The menu is half 90’s bowling alley/half 1980’s french campsite – thoroughly depressing.

Afters Dessert Parlour - Waffle with chocolate sauce

I ordered a waffle with chocolate sauce in the hope that it wouldn’t arrive with a blue raspberry sauce or a fucking sparkler in the top. The former blonde had a chocolate fudge cake with a free sauce if you paid an extra 50p. Both were edible in the same way that frankfurters, spam and polystyrene are edible. It will all go down if you hold your nose and chew hard enough.

As this is an ice cream parlour I felt it unfair to review without trying something that was still frozen. Mango Sorbet was perfectly OK, with good texture and a nice Mango flavour.

The place was quite busy – families and over excited teenagers mainly – the music was loud, and everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. If there is a market for this sort of thing in 2011, if this is what the people of Croydon want, if this is going to survive longer than 6 months, if this IS THE STATE OF FOOD IN CROYDON then I am glad to buggery and back that I am moving elsewhere.

The only tasty thing in Afters was our waitress, even the former blonde agrees.

The nitty-gritty:

We had a waffle a piece of ‘cake’ and a ball of sorbet. £7.95. Other desserts range from £8 for a banana split to £30 for a 28 scoops of glacial sugar vomit. Service isn’t included, which is a shame, as it was one of the only things worth paying for.

Oh, and they don’t take card, which is about as dodgy as their cakes.

Afters Dessert Parlour on Urbanspoon

The Bank (Fuller’s Pub), Clapham Junction – Northcote road

Tesco make really bad sandwiches. The Bank made a really good one.

I had very low expectations for The Bank because:

  1.  It’s menu was all over the place
  2. It looked like a school hall
  3. Bar snacks were uniformly a ball busting £4.95

The Bank surpassed expectations because:

  1. The food was actually very good
  2. The clientelle had some very amusing outfits
  3. Our waitress was both hot and French

It was sandwiches all round. The ladies opted for fish fingers, served in thick grainy bread. The boys had burgers with proper meat and decent buns and an afterthought of onion relish (delivered late, in masterchef style, by the chef to the table).

I had a heritage tomato open sandwich – it was very fine. The tomatoes were excellent, a picture of british summer. They were served on a thick slab of not quite toast with some too-neatly sliced mozzarella and a drizzle of marjoram. It needed more  olive oil, otherwise faultless. A dollop of slaw was equally stellar, fresh, crunchy, light, zippy, no mayonnaise required. Some parsnip crisps were pointless.

Chips (£3) were fat and piled high but bought in. Nothing special.

Our waitress removed our plates before everyone had finished, which is fine in America but not in Clapham.

The menu really does jump around: From India to China to France. There is a good selection of beers.

Grab seat outside on Northcote road, soak up the sun, put up with the service – this is  not a bad spot for lunch.

The nitty gritty:

Distance from croydon: 12 minutes from EC

It was about £12 a head for a sandwich a drink and a fat pile of chips.

Tesco Strawberry and clotted cream sandwich: available nationwide

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What is this? This is wrong.
Is this lunch? Or is this pudding?

Why have Tesco done this?

I need to try this.

Oh, I really wish I hadn’t.

FYI Tesco bread is not a good substitute for a scone, just like a plate is not a good substitute for a mug for my tea.

There is less than a single whole strawberry in the whole sloppy sandwich. The clotted cream is corrupted with icing sugar. The whole thing stinks of bad strawberry jam. Like the worse half of an unbuttered cheese and tomato sandwich the bread here is damp and soggy. A yeasty sponge unfit for cleaning dishes.

Tesco should give up. They are going to end up like Jane Norman or Habitat or HMV if they carry on like this.

Strawberries are for puddings and cakes – leave them there.

How would Tesco like it if I put tuna in their rice pudding?

Perverts.